Blah! to Big Brother

Blah! to Big Brother! Will Holland.

Captain says: Yes, it is a gruesome spectacle isn't it... though as a social experiment it CAN be fascinating. And of course at other times it ranges from being cringe-worthy to mind numbingly boring.

Personally I WOULD ban the thing and sack the board of Channel 4 as well while your at it for not instantly pulling the plugs on the disgraceful scenes on the recent and most controversial series - although I would say Jade Goody is more an ignorant thick bozo than a racist. She is working class cannon fodder who has been elevated to a status far exceeding what she can possibly handle... there's no subtlety or guile with Jade.... she blurts it all out while the rest of us fall about laughing at her stupidity. Usually...

The problem between her and Shilpa was a CLASS thing, pre-planned by the producers of BB at Endemol to provide the MAXIMUM fireworks during this series. I mean... Shilpa is beautiful, witty, urbane and posh - and Jade is an uneducated ugly duckling with a big mouth. Well done Endemol, now after destroying this unfortunate imbeciles unlikely career and bringing this country into disrepute around the world will you kindly sack yourselves and take your daft program with you, thanks.

Blah to transport Changes

They tax you for driving your car in the town centres so you use the train instead, then they boost the prices of the train Ann Smith.

Captain says: You know, I was buying a train ticket in Portugal the other day.... Lisbon to Porto it was and my colleague asked me to guess the price they just paid. Well, seeing as I was used to inflated UK prices I guessed around £40 (EUR 60 or summat) but I was pleasantly surprised to find out they were only asking EUR 16. How much cheaper than the usual UK train extortion is that?

British governments are, unlike most European countries still following the idea that Thatchers 'Great Car Economy' (Google it) is the way to do things travel wise and SOD PUBLIC TRANSPORT.... cos that's for 'LOSERS'. She actually used that word in relation to bus passengers.

And if NOBODY used the train and buses then imagine how much fun it would be driving into town through the smog infested gridlock that THAT would cause!

No, if the trains are clean, frequent and cheap then we would ALL (apart from a few snobs) gladly use them more often with the resulting benefit to the reduction in carbon emissions that that would bring. PLUS - the more popular trains are the less congested the roads would be so even car drivers would be happy.

But I'd tax the more gas guzzling motors to buggery though if it was 'owt to do with me.... these SUVs are totally unnecessary in town centers aren't they... and give the tax revenues raised from that (and some of the dosh we'd save by slashing the 'defence' budget) to tooling up the UK's clapped out transport infrastructure.

www.extang.uklinux.net/nationalize/natindex.html

Blah to apprentice training in British industries

BLAH! to no apprentice training in British industries. Richard Hassall.

Captain says: What is it with this country when youngsters aren't able to get apprenticeships any more? This is partly deliberate though as an unskilled, non union workforce is easier to hire and fire and generally bully at will but it's not much good for the country when it comes to competing with our neighbours is it. AND it has to be said that without the influx of Polish plumbers recently this place would have pretty much gone down the toilet on that front. Don't we teach plumbing skills in the UK anymore???

Blah to targets and League tables

Blah! to targets and league tables UNLESS MPs can have them too. Why should they be able to get away with being rubbish at their jobs? People only vote for them because of party loyalties so lets have OFSPIN or something and see how many get A’s. Helen Bell.

Captain says: Hear hear (to coin a phrase) Helen, absolutely right. The motley bunch of politicians we have in Parliament have failed on many levels but got away with it owing to the fact that on stuff like Iraq they generally get an easy ride from TV and the papers who seem to go along with the line that we are spreading some sort of democracy in the Middle East, rather than the oil grab that most of us know it to be. Blair certainly is the 'Sultan of Spin' though isn't he... so, OFFSPIN - what a good idea!

Blah to political parties with no solid manifesto

Blah! to the blah party for not having a solid manifesto outline, currently there is no defense against the party adopting a pro death penalty stance, apart from Captain Sensible’s censorship but then that isn’t democratic. Captain  said in a BBC interview that the party wouldn’t support anything sexist or racist, yet there is no mechanism to support this apart from the Captain but then this would be a dictorial party? Gregory O Conell.

Captain says: Well, even in my widest dreams I don't imagine the Blah! Party will be forming the next UK government - our job is to hold the current government to task for some of the more lunatic decisions that are being made there that affect not only those of us in this funny old country but also other nations who are very much being affected by our ghastly politicians these days. The Blah! Party does, however have common sense policies for most of the major issues of the day, and also a constitution that forbids unpleasantness like racism and the like so I reckon we've got a lot going for us. And that, PLUS the growing and pretty clued up membership who have been contributing greatly to our rolling manifesto gives us a good platform to start firing off a few broadsides across the bows of HMS Blair and co.

Oh, and as far as I'm aware there hasn't been ONE Blah! suggestion to bring back hanging - but having said that I have to say that coming from Croydon where we are all very aware of the terrible story of 19 year old mentally retarded Derek Bentley's appalling hanging in the 60's - for something he is alleged to have said at the scene of a shooting....... so I say NO to capital punishment because one mistake is one too many!

Blah! to low corporate tax and high public tax

Blah! to low corporate tax and high public tax. Christopher Arnold.

Captain says: Too many companies and fat cats with their creative accounting methods are paying as little tax as possible while Gordon Brown taxes the rest of us like it's going out of fashion. And he's inventing NEW taxes all the time to pay for the deficit that letting the super rich get away with it causes. And that so called 'green' air fuel surcharge is just another 'stealth tax' as air travel contributes less than 2% of greenhouse gases and American road transport produces summat like 20% or thereabouts! And while we're on the subject, as a vegetarian I have to say that the cumulative effects of 1.3 billion cattle producing over 100 million tons of methane annually can ALSO have a significant effect on the world's balance of greenhouse gases!

But back to subject - yes - TAX THE RICH proportionately more than the rest of us.... it makes sense doesn't it. Sure - it means we'll lose a few tax exiles like Bono and Phil Collins.... but hey - tragic eh?

Blah! to supermarkets taking over our towns!

I live in Thanet, where the powers that be have decided to commercialise the whole island by putting a massive shopping centre smack bang in the middle of it! yes its created a load of jobs, where you can go to work in the corporate colours of your choice, and be paid the same as everyone else, if you like pretending to be a robot of course! And as there's this shiny new shopping experience, the 3 town centres of Ramsgate, Broadstairs and Margate are now deteriorating at an ever increasing rate, taking with them any sort of community feel with it. Its so depressing walking down a street and seeing a load of empty shop windows because the owners have been forced out by stupidly overpriced business costs (set by the govn.), and even more depressing only seeing your friends maybe once a week because they have to work all the time just so they can afford to pay the bills! i say bring back the local town centres and bring back a sense of community spirit! Christopher Arnold.

Captain says: The all conquering supermarkets are out of control... once again we are going down the US route where nearly all shopping is done in Malls and Hypermarkets outside town with the resulting loss of sense of community and all that.

Parliament has enabled all this to happen... I wonder if the aforementioned supermarket chains have donated any large sums of money to Labour or the Tories.... what would be YOUR guess?

Blah to the Royal family

Blah to the Royal family, I am dreading the next royal wedding. The palace release the date early so firebrands can leave the country.  I say enough! We need to mark the day with protest and (non-violent) mischief. Robert Woods, no location given. Robert Woods.

Captain says: As someone who travels a fair bit I know the hilarity that our Royal family engenders in incredulous people the world over. I mean, how ridiculously past their sell by date can the Windsors (or Battenberg Saxe-Coburg-Gotha to call them by their REAL name) be? They're a bunch of reactionary racist layabouts who should be slung out on their ears to do an honest days work for once in their lives say I.

And did you hear about Charles getting that Harvard environment gong - sponsored by some global warming denying oil company believe it or not? He just doesn't get it does he...flying across the Atlanic with a 20-person entourage full of hairdressers, chefs, butlers and the like to pick up some meaningless 'green' award. And an award for WHAT exactly one wonders?

Well 'Sir', might I suggest that you have been absolutely perfect for the anti monarchist movement - I mean... they couldn't have invented a more pompous limp wristed chinless buffoon than your good self could they. And SQUEEZE YOUR OWN TOOTHPASTE IN FUTURE YOU LAZY GIT!

Yes, Blah! to the Royals!!!

Blah! to identity cards

Blah! to identity cards and The Database state. It stinks and it’s bollocks. Nick Machen.

Captain says: Yes indeed... dangerous stuff is going on here, all being enabled by public concern about security issues... whipped up by Blair and co. These are policies that would have been unthinkable before 9/11 and sucessive governments would have loved to have introduced but couldn't justify until the 'War On Terror' came along to enable the biggest civil liberties crack down of all time. We ain't seen nothing yet either cos mark my words, this is just the tip of the iceberg. We are heading for a truly horrific real life Big Brother society with constant surveillance enabled by surgical chip implants and the like that we are starting to see the dawn of now. So when they say road use will be charged by the mile with bills being totted up via GPS systems and sensors in all vehicles you get a glimpse of the technology they will be utilizing in the future.

And all this in the 'free West' too... whatever THAT is  - as a certain Mr C Windsor would say!

Blah to the European Union for a gross waste of member states money

Blah! to The European Union for a gross waste of member states money. Stop corruption with the EU monetary system and force the EU to have a full and independent audit of all its finances. There has not been one approved audit for at least 6 years.  Ian Lee, no location given. Nick Machen.

Captain says: Well, the EU has kept the peace rather well in this historically war prone part of the planet of late so that's in it's favour at least. But the ongoing disgrace of CAP farm subsidies and other squandering of cash would indicate that a kick up the jacksie would indeed be in order.

But apart from that, don't worry about the Common Market Eurocrats passing laws to straighten cucumbers which 'must not arch more than 10mm for every 10mm of their length', etc. These myths are not true and are figments of the Daily Mail's anti EEC driven imagination.

Blah! to cyclists taking over the pavements

Blah! to cyclists taking over the pavements. Julie Tierney.

Captain says: I'd be careful if I were you when joining the vociferous anti bicycle lobby as cyclists are increasingly being knocked off their bikes by idiot car drivers influenced by the likes of the BBC's Jeremy Clarkson who says that if they come anywhere near his car they deserve all they get. I am reminded that a member of one of my favourite bands - Stereolab's Mary Hansen was killed in a bicycling accident in 2002 and it has to be said you do have to be pretty brave to buzz around London on a bike these days don't you think?

But surely bikes are a good thing - good for the environment, good for your health. I remember when I was running Deltic Records in the late 80's one of our bands - 'The Cleaners From Venus' did a UK tour on bikes with their mandolins and acoustic guitars on their backs as they travelled around the country from town to town. Fantastic stuff and as they said at the time.... lets see Pink Floyd do THEIR next tour like that!

But going back to the question - if there was more courtesy to cyclists on the road then they wouldn't feel the need to use the pavement I would imagine.

true and are figments of the Daily Mail's anti EEC driven imagination.

Blah! to the use of lottery cash to fund hospitals

Blah! to the use of lottery cash to fund things like hospitals. We pay enough taxes to support them. Get rid of these fat cats who sit on faceless committees reaping in fat pay checks and get back to the old style of hospital management.  Mick Griffin.

Captain says: Yes, I'd abolish the lottery... it's nowt more than a STUPIDITY TAX and I've lost count of the times when I've been held up behind some queue or other in various shops waiting for people to purchase their vain chance of escape from the drudgery of their existence's or whatever it is that makes them buy into this massive con routine. All gambling is crap in my book, and you hear stories about people down on their luck and in desperate situations who blow a large proportion of their meagre family budget on the lottery so it is with this in mind that I say BLAH! to this rotten rip off scheme and yes Mick, you're right - fund hospitals and schools properly from the public purse!

Blah! to skinny models and pop stars

Blah! to skinny models and pop stars who give young girls bad body image.  Mandy Campbell, Hitchin.

Captain says: I think it was old man Steptoe who said "I don't like scrawny birds!"... and I must say I agree with him.

The fashion industry should make clothes for NORMAL people modeled by people of NORMAL size.... and not the anorexic waifs who inhabit the catwalks currently. And when I see all these skinny girls coming out of school walking down the road with fags in their mouths a la Kate Moss I think...  BLAH! to the fashion industry... bugger off and leave us all alone. If we need some clothes we'll go and buy some - we don't need YOU to tell us what to wear. Indeed!

Blah! to cutting bus services from villages to towns

Blah! to cutting bus services from villages to towns---it just increases the need for more car usage and leaves the elderly and poor stranded. Mandy Campbell, Hitchin.

Captain says: Yes, when the government deregulated the bus services all the prime routes were cherry picked by the new companies who, of course didn't bother supplying a service to undersubscribed routes. Why should they - and lose money? Another marvellous f**k up by our great leaders and like you said Mandy... if you live in a remote area and wan't to get around you HAVE to have a bloody car these days. Do you think any of these private bus companies who are raking in the cash have made political donations at all... I just wondered???

Another prime example of the paucity of the 'leave it to market forces' argument.

Blah! to people putting down small political parties

Blah! to people putting down small political parties. Mr Rose Tints.

Captain says: Well there is a theory that Gordon Brown COULD, if he was so inclined dramatically change the course of British politics for the foreseeable future by bringing in proportional representation which would greatly benefit smaller parties across the board. But what would Browns motive be if he did this...according to the rumour mongers? Well, PR would most likely make the Tories unelectable, as the consensus of UK voting patterns is centre left these days and it would be a doddle to cobble together some kinda coalition of that persuasion to keep the right out of power. Which would be nice of course until you take a look at the so-called New Labour party and you realize that they are in fact the New TORIES!

Blah! to homophobia

Blah! to homophobia. "gay" has become a word to describe something inadequate or disgusting, and the even the BBC accept this use of the word - their excuse for Chris Moyles describing something as "gay" was basically that everyone uses it that way anyway. It's used as a derogatory term by bullies,

AND

idiots who shout "dirty lesbian" at anyone who doesn't fit into their twisted views of what is "normal". They act like homosexuality is some kind of perverted mental Disease. In America there is a far-right  fundamentalist Christian group who are trying to create a drug to "cure" homosexuality. "gay" is used against hetros, bis and homos. Fuck homophobia. QUEERCORE is the way of the future! Pazza. http://pansydivision.com/Photos/pd_photos_goldenchris.html

Captain says: I'll tell you - I'm a pretty tolerant easy going kinda chap but there is one group of people who scare the bejeezus out of me - and thats those fundaMENTALIST far right christians. In fact ALL the religious zealots of whatever faith - why don't they just bog off and let the rest of us live our lives without their inevitable input of intolerance, hatred and oppression. Good luck to our gay friends say I, there wouldn't be a lot to watch on TV and at the theatre without them!

Blah! to high rents

Blah! to not capping the very high rents that greedy private landlords are charging tenants? Poorer folk are especially stung like this because of a shortage in affordable housing! Stephen Nicklin, Wolverhampton

Captain says: You're right and this difficult problem is exacerbated by successive governments outlawing any new council house building. Yes, sort out the rents tribunal system and lets tackle these greedy landlords.

Blah! to kids under 16 on the streets after 11pm

Blah! to kids under 16 on the streets after 11pm.  There should be a curfew on what time kids that age can be out and about. Collette Morris.

Captain says: Well, if there is a teenage crime epidemic I wonder where they get ideas like that in this day and age. I mean, when they see the government sending in troops in an violent unlawful thieving of another countries oil...it couldn't be a bad example to them or anything - could it?

Blah! to expensive TV licenses

Blah! to paying £131.50 for a T.V. Licence. Kev Tweedy.

Captain says: Much as I love the BBC it needs a drastic overhaul, as it has become a massive beast of many heads far outgrowing the original idea of being a quality public service broadcaster. All these extra channels, bidding megabucks for sports programming, paying vast inflated wages to the likes of Wogan and Wossy, packing the schedules with crap US crud and dumbed down game shows.... no, no, no - Lord Reith must be turning in his grave at these crap developments...why don't they keep to the brief, and keep it SIMPLE.

As a public service broadcaster there is NO GOOD REASON why they should lower the quality of the programming to attract audience figures with game shows, dross like Strictly Come Dancing and wall-to-wall DIY and TV chef nonsense. Get back to what you're traditionally famous for - good drama, documentaries, in depth news analysis, live music, etc. And let the commercial johnnies do the lowbrow twaddle. Cutting back the unnecessary over-stretching could cut the license fee in half and send Wogan off to see if any other broadcaster in their right mind will match the daft wages he's on at the Beeb. And he ruins the Eurovision Song Contest every year with his appalling semi racist jibes and carping at all our neighboring countries and their customs and habits. Give his the boot for gawds sake and then I can go back to watching this EXCELLENT program. Is Morrissey really doing it this year? Fantastic!

Blah! to the mentally ill being signed off

Blah! to the mentally ill being signed off and being left to make the decision regarding getting benefits rather than just being given a straightforward care package.  That's 4 years of my life that shouldn't have happened. Christian Wilcox.

Captain says: Blimey, is that what happens.... I'm sorry to hear that Christian. It is said that you judge a society / country on how it treats those that most need help..... so there would seem to be definite room for improvement in that area, as your email suggests.

Blah! to cinema talkers

BLAH! to people who talk in the cinema. Tom Brook.

Captain says: I must say it is a rare occasion when I am to be found in a cinema.... I find people's capacity for devouring moronic cliche ridden Hollywood movies incredible. I mean, how many hackneyed re-hashed plot lines can a person stomach in one lifetime? Seemingly an endless amount.... as witnessed by the success of the lastest installment of the Rocky saga - which you would have to pay me handsomely to sit and watch.

Do people sit and chat their way through the films these days? It's probably 'cos the bloody movies are a piece of shit!

Blah! to name calling

Blah! to calling people Cliff Richard and writing your name on shorty fat blokes. Terry Orange.

Captain says: Er, did I do that...sorry to all concerned.

Blah! to poor road maintenance

Blah! to poor road maintenance. Jonathan Waller.

Captain says: Well, there's probably literally NO cash at all to be had for stuff like this presently what with the vast fortunes being squandered on our Middle East warmongering. The sums of money involved must be astronomical...have we ever been told how much exactly? No, there has been a conspiracy of silence on this subject in the media - don't you think we deserve to know these things? I mean every time a few quid is added to the NHS we hear all about it - down to the last penny, but when the war budget is increased - not a dicky bird. Funny that...

Blah! to chavs

Blah! to Chavs. Tom Brook, Calvin Travers, Aimee Heinemann.

Captain says: What are chavs contributing to British life? I mean.... the music’s crap, their pimped up 'hot hatches' are crap, the bling is crap and their heroes Posh and Becks are incredibly crap.

What purpose do chavs serve apart from enabling the rest of us to feel smug at being so wise and superior in comparison.

So what do we do? Are the schools to blame? Hip hop? Noel Edmonds? Don't ask me.... I'm just a daft old punk rocker.

Blah! to student debt

Blah! to student debt. Jonathan Waller.

Captain says: Students are a bunch of lazy skiving gits who should be flogged with barbed wire! Only joking...Education should, of course be free for all.