Blah! to the Money-Go-Round!

Blah! to the Money-Go-Round! We are in an ever-increasing spiral of rising prices because, as one person sees a chance to make a quick buck, their customers have to ask for more for what they do in order to meet the extra cost, and so on and so forth. Wouldn’t it be great if one or more major organisations declared themselves an ethical supplier, offering a sound service and charging no more or less than a fair price? Ultimately, the government could hold a register of such organisations, only dealing with those on the register and encouraging others to do the same. Organisations could be thrown off the register if they are seen to be acting unethically. Martin Sirl.

Captain says: There was a brilliant scheme in bohemian Brighton whereby the locals got together to do jobs for each other without money passing hands. Depending on the skill level and amount of work involved ‘Bright’ units were awarded and you would get maybe a muso type teaching someones kids to play the drums and in return the nippers parent would do some plumbing in return. Sounds great doesn’t it? Unfortunately it was as popular with the government as a bevvy of playboy bunnies would be round at Cliff Richards gaff. There’s no money in it for the chancellor to get his greedy hands on of course so it’s back to the rat race for the people of Brighton I’m afraid!

Blah! to the lack of NHS funding and training!

Blah! to the lack of NHS funding and training, which means women do not get enough support in establishing breastfeeding. If all babies were breastfed for three months the reduction in treatment for gastroenteritis would save the NHS £35m! Tilda the builder.

Captain says: Breast IS best. Tell that to Nestle! I’ve not purchased any of their products since I found out about their evil tactics in African countries... promoting their baby milk formula in maternity wards, giving away free packs and the like so that the mum’s own milk dries up leaving her dependent on the expensive Nestle product with the result that thousands of kids have died over the years. Sorry I went off subject but this company is crap and people should know. The good news is the government are passing a law making it illegal to throw out breast-feeding mums from restaurants and the like. You are 100% right Tilda, this is what ‘boobs’ are for - not for page three of the sodding Sun.

Blah! to CCTV snooping on us hundreds of times a day!

Blah! to CCTV snooping on us hundreds of times a day! Lord Lake.

Captain says: Yes, this is scary stuff and if you combine it with the ID Card system then we are heading into a society of total surveillance and control by the powers that be - and who’s to say how benign or not THEY might be in the future? What is the statistic - a UK citizen is caught on CCTV 40 times a day or whatever. Blah! to the Surveillance Society - we MUST resist it before it is too late - lookout for a demo happening near you when the ID s**t hits the fan!

Blah! to people who go into politics before having had a proper job!

Blah! to people who go into politics before having had a proper job! Tom Meiklejohn.

Captain says: I am of the persuasion that politicians (and coppers too) should represent a cross section of the community they represent - and not someone who fancies swaggering about lording it over the rest of us on some kind of ego trip for a living. I had the misfortune to meet Ed Vasey of the Tory Party while on Blah! duty recently and the bloke was dripping with arrogance and obviously thought very highly of himself. His ears must’ve been burning after he stalked out with his entourage after the show as the other panelists AND the TV crew all agreed he was the most unpleasant and insincere politician they had ever encountered.

He’s a prime candidate to gain a little humility by taking a job for a while to see how the rest of us cope. And before any cynics out there point the old accusing finger at your old mate Sensible here regarding lazy skiving gits may I inform you that amongst the jobs I attempted before becoming a plank spanker were LANDSCAPE GARDNER (quite physical), RAIL WORKER and BOG CLEANER. Maybe the latter occupation would suit the oily Mr Vasey... or maybe we could just employ his head as a bog brush for a few days or so. After all, his politics are crap!

Blah! to pointless news that only nosy boring people with no life care about!

Blah! to pointless news that only nosy boring people with no life care about when you’ve still got war and starvation in the world. Who gives a shit about big brother and celebrity break ups? Billy Burnett.

Captain says: Do you get the impression sometimes that we are all being brainwashed in the comfort of our own homes by the one eyed monster in the corner of the room? I wrote a song for the Damned about this subject.... ‘Fun Factory’ it was called and we had the excellent Robert Fripp guesting on it too. Fab stuff - but never mind about that... you are totally correct Billy - people are being kept DELIBERATELY in the dark about the important stuff that’s going on in the UK and abroad because otherwise they’d all run out the front door and march on parliament demanding change... and we can’t have THAT now can we! So - who DOES run the country? Well, let’s put it this way - both Gordon Brown AND David Cameron are groveling and promising anything to gain Rupert Murdoch’s support at the next election and you can guess what he’s asking for in policy terms in return can’t you?

Blah! to ignorance!

Blah! to ignorance! Let’s start a name and shame campaign against the thoroughly objectionable ignorant people of the world i.e. racists, thugs, litter louts, people who park across your driveway, etc. Jonathan Tennet.

Captain says: Yes, I’m certain there must be times when all of us have wished we could turn round, tap a copper on the shoulder and point out some crap piece of antisocial behavior that deserves investigation. Increasingly it seems that a large proportion of the populace don’t give a flying f**k about any of their fellow citizens and “to hell with everyone else, get out of my way you scabs - I’m coming through!”. We’ve all seen unpleasant drivers accelerate when they see people crossing the road in front of them - I actually saw a car nearly hit a mum with a push-chair when she wasn’t quick enough at the traffic lights.

These idiots, who are getting away with it currently might indeed be prime material for a ‘name and shame’ campaign... maybe in a local newspaper or website. Another example would be gangs of idiotic youths doing stuff like throwing stones at ducks and swans in the park. Where’s he local bobby when you need one in circumstances like these? Down some pop festival or other probably, arresting any revelers found possessing a bit of blow or whatever. Tsk!

Blah! to everything being about “working families” or “the children”!

Blah! to everything being about “working families” or “the children”. What about those of us (married or single) who don’t have or want any kids? We exist, we vote and there is no party that gives a toss about us! LW Jolly.

Captain says: It always amazes me how many people seem to think I have been married at one point or other in my life. I mean, sure I’ve got kids and all that but their Mum and I didn’t need any official approval or daft churches involved before we ‘got it together’ in the sack. How dare these reactionary fools criticize unmarried parents... as if some kiddy fiddling bishop had any moral authority to speak out in the first place, eh? No, governments are always attempting to control us through marriage, religion or home ownership and when these self imposed shackles lose their popularity they have to invent a never ending ‘war against terror’ with the ID cards and CCTV that that entails. As for tax breaks for married families - that’s just plain unfair and I say a wholehearted BLAH! to that!

Blah! to shitty American culture diluting ours with crap!

Blah! to shitty American culture diluting ours with crap English, gangsta hip-hop R-n-B music tosh and that bloody minded red neck arrogance that Bush calls a foreign policy. No wonder the bloody chavs are getting thicker! John Pridmore.

Captain says: In 1977 youth culture rebelled against the turgid dinosaur stadium rock bands of the day who were singing songs about Merlin, Pixies and the wives of Henry the Eighth preferring to attend shows by newly formed punk acts who’s songs were infinitely more relevant to the lives of the young people of the day. And now, looking back it can be seen that this was a glorious time for British music, a time where once again this country was at the forefront of fashion and the music scene. And with radical ideas like those of the late 70’s - quite right too. Zoom forward in time to today and what do we find? A whole generation of dumbed down chavs slavishly copying the swaggering macho hip hop movement, relevant of course on the streets of Compton, Chicago and New York with the poverty and problems that black people are having to cope with over there but surely bugger all to do with a teenager from Swansea or Middlesborough?!

These working class kids are idolising gangsta rappers who flaunt their wealth in videos drenched in bling, expensive cars and scantily clad strumpets and say stuff like “Get rich, or die trying”. No wonder yobs with no future these days are carrying knives while aspiring to be flashy, stinking rich drug dealers wearing clothes by Dolche and Gabbana and toting semi automatic machine guns by Uzi. And the government can hardly complain when they are indulging in their own acts of mindless violence in the Middle East.

What do we do about all this? Well I for one would be up for a ban on any unpleasant gangsta rap artist spouting off anti gay, violent or misogynistic lyrics, and I’d certainly consider outlawing ultra violent video games and movies which are pretty much a blood and gore fest these days. These obviously have an affect on a fair proportion of impressionable types and lower the threshold of tolerance to brutality and thuggery which cannot be a good thing. When I look back to the optimistic times of the 60s and the idealism of the hippy movement, and then the gritty “throw out all the rubbish” attitude of the punks I wonder - where did it all go so mindlessly wrong for the ‘Bling Generation’?

Blah! to car tax!

Blah! to car tax! Get rid of it and add it to fuel so those who use most, pay most (might stop those big 4x4 gas guzzlers). Make MOT and insurance displayable on you windscreen and get uninsured wrecks off the road. Peter Gale.

Captain says: You might have something there. And certainly 4x4s should have a huge tax whacked on their purchase price to discourage daft townies from purchasing one to pick up the kids from school or drive down to the supermarket once a week or whatever. As for increasing petrol prices even further I am not so sure as Britain pays more to fill up that any other country on Earth or thereabouts and all that cash certainly isn’t going into subsidies for sustainable energy research or home insulation grants which WOULD be the government making some sort of green effort.... no, that money is going towards the billions that are being squandered on Iraq, ID cards and the Olympics.

Blah! to having to pay ridiculous prices to park your car at hospitals!

Blah! to having to pay ridiculous prices to park your car at hospitals! Danny Wareing.

Captain says: Yet another disgraceful STEALTH TAX. See previous item.

Blah! to caravans!

Blah! to caravans! They slow down Britain’s roads, encourage road rage and are bad for the environment because they require a gas guzzling 4x4 to move them. Mark Wild.

Captain says: Well, I am all for slowing down Britain’s roads and while out on tour always welcome getting ‘stuck’ behind a caravan as it removes the possibility of the bands driver speeding or driving like a maniac while caffeined up to the eyeballs. I always say... it’s backseat moaners and whingers like myself that have kept this band from having more accidents during the countless thousands of miles we’ve got through on the road over the years. No, more caravans please. Oh, and I’m looking forward to the time when the punk generation have campers and caravans and the holiday parks around Britain resound to the sound of the Adverts and the Ruts, etc. What fun!

As for road rage.... I put a lot of that down to the amount of coffee that has been consumed by the driver.... and why don’t you ask for yourself next time you are in a vehicle with some maniac driver who is up the arse of the car in front giving V-signs and cursing other road users left right and centre.... yes, ask the driver if he’s been drinking coffee or something. I’ll wager the answer is YES!

Blah! to talking CCTV cameras!

Blah! to talking CCTV cameras! Having commands barked at you from a loudspeaker fitted to a CCTV camera whilst you’re waiting for your girlfriend to come out of the lady’s is just one step too far! Next on the Home Secretaries agenda will be the thought police! Shaun Nightingale.

Captain says: Mad isn’t it? Britain leads the world in implementing this sort of ‘big brother’ technology, which I admit could come in handy when dealing with the large hoards of drunken buffoons who descend on our cities on the lookout for a punch up at weekends these days but surely the answer is to deal with THAT problem rather that further increasing the surveillance regime we all have to live with these days.

Blah! to celebrity magazines!

Blah! to celebrity magazines! Who the hell are these “celebrities” they write about and why should we care who Paris Hilton’s dog is shagging? Ian Hart.

Captain says: Paris, Posh, Peter Andre? Pillocks the lot of them and nobody I’d be interested in reading about but apparently there are millions who would disagree with me. Britain has a vibrant publishing industry with seemingly a magazine for every interest, however obscure but there would seem to be an overemphasis on shallow celebrity culture these days. My favourite mag is Focus, which is an easy introduction to the science issues of today. Definitely a good read playmates.

Blah! to kids at school who cause trouble and bully other kids!

Blah! to kids at school who cause trouble and bully other kids. If they don’t want to learn get them out onto vocational courses instead. Kevin Eaton.

Captain says: Yes, a good idea. Send the idiots off and give them something constructive to do instead of letting them drag down their classroom colleagues.

Blah! to the government for planning to restrict the top speed of motorcycles!

Blah! to the government for planning to restrict the top speed of motorcycles. Yeah - bikes can be a little bit dangerous, but 99% of the time it’s only to the person who chooses to ride it. And that’s part of the appeal - not being 100% safe all the time, otherwise known as living a little. Sure, some sports bikes will do 186mph, but so will some performance cars. Jeez - most modern, family tin cans will hit 120mph+! But you won’t see Hamsterboy Blair jamming a spud down the exhaust of his good buddy David Beckham’s Ferrari now will you? Michael Walshaw.

Captain says: Have you seen that daft plonker Jeremy Clarkson enthusing every week on his daft petrol-head TV show about some insanely fast car or other? I can never tell if he believes the anti green movement crap he comes out with or not... it must be a good living - but unfortunately some of his more gullible viewers believe his reactionary bilge. And now that we understand the dangers of global warming do we really need the BBC glamourising 4x4s and cars that do 0-60 in 4 seconds? I had a rather nasty crash on my motorbike when I was younger and the doctors told me I was lucky to be alive - so take care on your ‘ton up’ machine won’t you!

BLAH! to super casinos!

BLAH! to super casinos! It’s a tax on the poor and the soon to be poor. Regeneration is a very poor excuse for stimulating gambling demand. Paul Levy.

Captain says: Indeed, BLAH! to these unscrupulous parasitical American gaming corporations sucking money out of gambling addicts in the UK. Sure, some people can afford to lose the occasional bit of dosh but a fair proportion of folk the casinos will be attracting have severe problems and find it difficult to regulate the amount of money they flush down the toilet at these vile places. You hear terrible stories from Vegas about lost houses, jobs, ruined families and the like. Let’s not have any of this s**t over here thank you very much!

Blah! to treating ‘public’ workers like shit!

Blah! to treating ‘public’ workers like shit. Why do some people think it’s ok to abuse rail workers, nurses and other vital workers? Not only threatening them but also actually attacking them. The legal system should be there to defend these workers and come down hard on people that commit these offences. After all, we’d be buggered without the nursing/medical staff. And the country would soon grind to a halt if there were an hour’s stoppage for every assault on rail staff. Stop it now! Lee Cooper.

Captain says: What is going on in this country? I mean, the mentality of people who attack these public workers defies belief. Having said that - there are increasing amounts of antisocial ‘couldn’t give a s**t’ merchants about these days which suggests the school system is failing in certain areas. I would make it a priority to try to instill some kind of social spirit into school kids but generally I am at a loss to explain it and would welcome any ideas from anyone with a solution to this problem.

Blah! to selling council houses for profit!

Blah! to selling council houses for profit! I would like to Blah! the continuing selling of council houses and the selfish attitude of people buying them purely for profit so that the next vulnerable person is stuck without affordable housing. Bleeding Tories started it and it’s about time someone stopped it and made decent affordable houses for all. Leigh Williams.

Captain says: The tax system is at fault here and must be changed ASAP. Also, all this venture capital money slushing around the real estate market currently isn’t helping either. I wouldn’t hold your breath about any of this changing in the near future as the new Prime Minister is the ex-Chancellor who has continued old Thatcher’s house price bonanza for the last few years anyway. Having said that - he IS talking about enabling councils to re-enter the housebuilding sector, which will certainly help alleviate the problem.

Blah! to being made to pay £65 to renew our passports!

Blah! to being made to pay £65 to renew our passports. It’s a crime against the population. What are we paying for? For someone to open the envelope, enter the information on a database, stick it in the printer, print it and send it back? A tenner would surely be more than enough? It’s a disgrace. The Rockmother.

Captain says: Yes, it’s bad enough being forced to carry one of these bloomin’ things when you want to take a trip abroad without them increasing the price to these ridiculous levels. But - I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.... it’s just another sodding stealth tax!

Blah! to political correctness!

Blah! to political correctness. The sheep in the nursery rhyme is BLACK. BLACKBOARD - as that is what it’s called, although it would be more correct to call it a ‘liberally-chalk-dusted-once-black-but-now-rather-grey-board’. And if I want to fly the flag of St George I will do so, that does not mean I am racist. Five Round.

Captain says: I don’t think I’ve heard anyone suggest the word blackboard upsets any part of the community but coon, nigger, paki and golliwog DO and it is quite right that we don’t utter stuff like this these days. Why would anyone demand the right to use language that they know pisses other racial groups off.... unless they are a racist of course. ‘Political Correctness’ gets a bad press from the likes of Gary Bushell, Richard Littlejohn and Jeremy Clarkson but we all know where THEY are coming from politically.... don’t we!

Blah! to religious intolerance!

Blah! to religious intolerance. Various religions talk about love and peace but never seem to do anything about it, instead we get this “my God’s better than your God” mentality and we all know where that takes us. Let’s get rid of them all and start a new universal religion that actually practices what it preaches. One God, one world, love and peace! Andy Knott.

Captain says: Well, if we could get rid of all religion the word would be a much better more tolerant forward thinking place but it seems a vast proportion of the people in the various countries around the globe are still indulging in these insane religious practices that should have died out in the middle ages. None of any of the various churches thinking or theology holds water - it is all patent bollocks that should be scrapped forthwith and the slaves... or should I say the ‘sheep in the flock’s’ minds should be set free to think for themselves and realise that their life on this strange, confusing but often wonderful planet is our only chance of existence so we had better make the most of it.

Blah! to the Americanisation of our country!

Blah! to the Americanisation of our country! I’ve had enough of American companies like McDonalds, and the American government! What makes it worse is how many people I know want to be American! We should be proud to be British. No offence intended to the people of that nation, just those fat cat businessmen and stupid politicians trying to conquer the world. Blah! Sam Courtenay.

Captain says: Well, there would have been no Beatles, Stones, Kinks, Who, or Led Zeppelin without the American blues greats like Leadbelly, Robert Johnson and John Lee Hooker... and Hollywood has come out with the occasional classic movie I’m sure you will agree. The things you criticise are the same that a lot of Americans themselves are embarrassed about but as the capitalist colossus that the USA certainly is, their government pretty much run things to enable these giant corporations to grow and grow - spreading their tentacles inexorably around the USA and the rest the planet... and woe betide any country that attempts to deny them access to their population (and their wages) for this generally brings down the full wrath of US diplomatic bullying. Somehow politics in America must become more democratic - and a good start would be to stop the aforementioned corporations appointing the President through their massive campaign donations for ‘who pays the piper calls the tune’.

Blah! to the sue-happy nation!

Blah! to the sue-happy nation! Kids can’t play conkers, contact sports and much more on the school playground in case they get hurt! Someone dinks their car and before insurance details are swapped decides they have a horrendous whiplash injury! It’s crazy! Let kids fall and graze their knee and get their knuckles rapped with a conker - it’s all a part of learning! If someone slips on a tile, don’t give them a few grand, teach them to look where they are going! Donna Woodmore.

Captain says: Yes, just look at the nation’s parks that in my day would be full of kids playing footie, conkers or whatever but are now empty - while a whole generation of overweight ‘tellytubbies’ are at home watching TV, playing video games or socialising on the internet. And this litigation culture that is spreading these days is surely counter productive... I mean, if you sue a hospital then surely they have less cash to spend on the next patient. The same with schools, public transport, etc etc. Blah! to breadhead lawyers making money from the cash strapped public sector.